In this first chapter I really respond to the ideas regarding religion and a collective mental illness. In my late teens and early 20's I was suffering from depression and mental illness and I was in search for something to hold onto. Through my early life I had a predilection for superstition and Christianity had been a big part of my life, even if it was just in the background. But, I like to give things a good go and so I really tried to give mainstream christianity a full nudge. I clapped my hands, I went to camps, I listened to christian rock and I told people they would go to hell (having a very self-righteous streak, this gave me a perverse kick). But it required a lot of personal brainwashing. It required a lot of ego and mind to convince myself it worked. Mainstream christianity did not stick as although I really did swing for the fences. I never felt completely relaxed. It did not feel completely true. I was very similar to Paul Ryan. Scary.
Eckhart talks of religion more like a sign-post. You have to take god out of a box, open your mind, or better yet lose your mind, kick doctrine to the curb and embrace feelings and ideas that really feel authentic. Religion can be a closed door or an open door. I have been a 'lazy athiest' for a while now which has been very liberating. I don't really believe in a god but at the same time I am open to the mystery so to speak. I get embarrassed by my hearty stance on christianity and on my opinions or theories, but now I feel more comfortable chalking those up to my mad egomania. On the lazy atheist front, I wholeheartedly acknowledge that I am still completely bamboozled by the universe and the mystery is so complex that I am open to spiritual experience, a feeling or sense of being connected to an energy that I don't understand. Eckhart helps me switch off my ego and turn on a sense of spirituality. There is a big case of collective mental illness and Eckhart is a gentle anti-psychotic. I love it.
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